Funny Answers to Stupid Questions

I received this email some days back and I really found it funny so thought of sharing it with my readers. In our life we hear people asking us so many questions which have obvious answers but still people ask them. Here are few of the best or should I say worst questions that can be asked and fitful funny retorts. Enjoy.

Stupid Questions asked by Men

Man: May I hold your hand?

Woman: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

Man: I love you and I could die for you!

Woman: How soon??

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!

Woman: Yes, but would you stay there??

Stupid Questions asked by Women

Woman: Say you love me! Say you love me!

Man: You love me…

Woman: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

Man: Sure, what’s your phone number??

Woman: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

Man: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple

Woman: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

Man: Don’t you ever want to improve??

At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends…

Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?


Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?


No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.

At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks…

Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.


Why? Would it rather have been you?

At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-

Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??


No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years…

Stupid Question:-

Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.


Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

When a friend announces her wedding,

Stupid Question:-

Is the guy you’re marrying good?


No, he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout…it’s just the money.

When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

Stupid Question:-

Sorry. Were you sleeping?


No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping….you dumb witted moron.

When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…

Stupid Question:-

Hey have you had a haircut?


No, it’s autumn and I’m shedding……

At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:-

Tell me if it hurts?


No it won’t. It will just bleed.

You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…

Stupid Question:-

Oh, so you smoke.


Gosh, it’s a miracle …….it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!