110 Latest Jokes on Alok Nath

Bhavini

9 Jan 2014

Alok Nath Latest Jokes

Here is a list of 110 latest Alok Nath Jokes that are doing rounds on Whatsapp now.

“Mujhe Betiyon Ke Babuji Ban’na Hey” – Alok Nath when teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.
According to ‘Hindu Marriage Act’, a girl cannot marry if Alok Nath disapproves.
After Kalyug, It’s going to be ‘Alok-Nath-Yug’.
Alok Nath believes in ‘Aashirwad at first sight’.
Alok Nath believes the ‘F’ in FTV stands for Family.
Alok Nath calls Sunny Leone as ‘Sunny Beti’.
Alok Nath can destroy his trolls just by sprinkling few drops of water from his Kamandal and saying “Jaa Main Tujh Hen Shrap Deta Hun”.
Alok Nath carried Hanuman-Chalisa to school instead of notebooks.
Alok Nath collected all his savings and tried to purchase Rajesh Khanna’s bungalow as it is named
‘Aashirwad’.
Alok Nath does not sign a movie till there are at least three crying scenes.
Alok Nath eats Prasad as starters.
Alok Nath favorite game is football. It is because of players like Kaka, Mata and Nani.
Alok Nath gave Dacoit Valmiki such a deep and massive lecture on Sanskaar that he became
religious person.
Alok Nath goes to KFC to eat his favorite ‘Gaajar ka Halwa’.
Alok Nath had all the Senior Citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
Alok Nath has just completed level 66 on ‘Barfi Crush’.
Alok Nath has never received salary, he always received pension.
Alok Nath has requested for ‘Saubhagyavati Raho’ button on Facebook.
Alok Nath has requested for an ‘Aashirwad’ button to Twitter.
Alok Nath has zero friends because he always turns ‘Dosti into Rishtedaari’.
Alok Nath is ‘Babuji-Zoned’ at first sight.
Alok Nath is father of so many betaas and betis that when his family decides to go on a vacation,
they book a train!
Alok Nath is now a worried man, Obama’s daughter is getting marriageable.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he bought a new phone and broke coconut on it.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he buys the newspaper just to read the matrimonial.

Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he closes his eyes when he takes a bath.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he cuts ‘Mathura Ke Pede’ on his birthday.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he distributes ‘Prasad’ after crossing each level in Temple Run.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he removes his slippers before playing Temple Run.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he was born at the age of 65.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that he whips himself with leather belt if he sees his own body above
knees.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he heard the song ‘Gandi Baat’, he put ‘Gangajal’ in his ears.
Alok Nath is so sanskaari that when he walks into a bar, the bar walks out.
Alok Nath is someone who is worried about ‘Kanyadaan’ of a girl who is yet to be born.
Alok Nath is such a personality that at times his wife calls him ‘Bhaisaab’.
Alok Nath is the original ‘Father of the Nation’.
Alok Nath is the SI unit of ‘Sanskar’.
Alok Nath Ne Ekk Baar Toot’te Taare Ko Dekh Keh Beti Ki Bidae Maang Li.
Alok Nath Ne Janam Lete Hi Nurse Ka Kanyadaan Kar Diya Tha.
Alok Nath Ne Sirf Ek Ashlil Movie Dekhi Hey: ‘Dropadi Ka Cheer Haran’.
Alok Nath once blessed wheat farms and now we have ‘Aashirwaad-Atta’.
Alok Nath once said “Jeete Raho” to a man and today he is known as ‘MDH wale Dadaji’.
Alok Nath only saw this season of Big Boss, Kyun Ki ‘Big Boss Saath 7 Hai’.
Alok Nath serves ‘Gangajal’ in cocktail parties.
Alok Nath smokes ‘Agarbattis’.
Alok Nath snorts Agarbattis at rave parties.
Alok Nath strongly disapproves of Mukesh Ambani. Because his Sanskar met with an accident.
Alok Nath used to bunk school for Ram Katha.
Alok Nath walks into a bar and orders ‘Haldi Ka Doodh’.
Alok Nath walks slowly, because of song ‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’.

Alok Nath wants an “Aashirwad” button on Twitter!
Alok Nath was the first person to call ‘Parle’ as ‘Parle-G’.
Alok Nath was wanted to be Kenya’s “Father of the Nation”. So that he could do ‘Kenya-daan’.
Alok Nath watches Fast and Furious movies wearing a seat belt.
Alok Nath went to Shirdi for his honeymoon.
Alok Nath went to Sunburn Music Festival and did a ‘Surya-Namaskar’ over there.
Alok Nath went to ‘Vaishno Devi’ for his Bachelor’s party before marriage.
Alok Nath will do item number dance only if it’s ‘Bhakti-Sangeet’.
Alok Nath won the ‘STAR Parivaar Award’ for Favorite Pita Bread.
Alok Nath: “You know nothing of ‘friend-zone’. I am ‘Babuji-zoned’.”
Alok Nath: a silent guardian, a watchful father, our ‘Kanyadaan’ expert.
Alok Nath’s caller tune is “Babul Ki Duaayen Leti Ja”.
Alok Nath’s CV reads: Degree – MBA in Kanyadaan. Skills – Sanskaar. Experience – done total 1109673 Kanyadaan. Hobby – Giving Aashirwaad.

Alok Nath’s idea of a music concert is a ‘Mata Ka Jagrata’.
Alok Nath’s talk show would be called “Aashirwad with Alok”.
Alok Nath’s watch displays only ‘Achha’ and ‘Bura’ samay.
Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows: “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at..”
Alok Nath’s wildest fantasies involve a harmonium and Reema Lagoo.
Angry Birds became ‘Sansakari Birds’ in Alok Nath’s smartphone.
Anoop Jalota is Alok Nath’s Yo Yo Honey Singh.
Arun Govil grew old and became Alok Nath.
‘Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo’ song was written when Alok Nath was young.
Breaking News: All the conspiracy behind Alok Nath has been revealed. It was Rajnikant who started all this to divert peoples mind from his jokes.
Buddha and Ashoka wanted to live a lavish and lustful life, but then they met Alok Nath.
Even Emran Hashmi can’t kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their Sanskar.
Even when Alok Nath clicks his Selfie, he makes sure that his 52 family members, 3 servants, Krishan ji ki murti and 2 dogs.

Every Christmas, Alok Nath fills stockings with Aashirwad.
For Alok Nath, ‘Ram Chahe Leela Chahe Leela Chahe Ram’ is a bhajan.
Future Breaking News: Tour operators to launch ‘Alok Nath Yatra’ to clean all your sins.
Gandhi Ji used to call Alok Nath a Mahatma.
Gods take blessings from Alok Nath.
If Alok Nath goes in Bigg Boss then every morning will start with a Hanuman Chalisa and aarti of Mata Rani.
If Chuck Norris & Rajnikanth make love to Nirupa Roy at the same time & if they have a baby boy, that boy will grow old to become Alok Nath.
In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.
Jab Babuji Alok Nath Hon, Toh Emraan Hashmi Bhi Sanskari Hon Jata Hey.
Kalyug was started when Alok Nath did a negative role in ‘Bol Radha Bol’.
Koi Ladki Unh Sehn Chhu Naa Jaye Ess Liye, Alok Nath Ji Ne Aaj Tak Touch Screen Phone Nahi Liya.
Number of Kanyadaan done by Alok Nath is still higher than the number of days attended by an article in his article ship.
Once Alok Nath bought a new MacBook laptop and broke coconut on it.
Once Alok Nath gave aashirwad to a boy. Today we know that boy as Arvind Kejriwal.
Once Rajnikanth opened Ramayana and Alok Nath was born.
Poonam Pandey should thank her stars that Alok Nath didn’t give her Sanskars, else her life would’ve been hopeless and jobless.

Question: Alok Nath’s favorite song?
Answer: ‘Oppa Samdhan Style!’
Question: How would Alok Nath howl if he was a Werewolf?
Answer: ‘Bahuuuuu…’
Question: What will Alok Nath ride if he stars in Dhoom 3?
Answer: Bullock cart.
Question: Which car does Alok Nath drive?
Answer: Sanskar
Rahul Dravid was Alok Nath of Indian Cricket team.
Rohit Sharma and Dale Steyn should watch some Alok Nath movies and learn Sanskar.
Salman Khan is still Virgin because of Sanskar given by Alok Nath in ‘Maine Pyaar Kiya’.
The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are ‘Haridwar’ and ‘Pariwar’.
This New Year eve, Alok Nath is going to drink ‘Charnamrat’ on the rocks.
When a girl goes down on Alok Nath, he gives her aashirwad.
When Alok Nath caught a thief, he took him to ‘Mata Ki Chowkie’ instead of police chowkie!
When Alok Nath decides to get modern he wears ‘dhotis with zips’.
When Alok Nath is around Even Salman Khan behaves like a good son.
When Alok Nath parties, it means tea party.
When Alok Nath plays temple run, he runs TOWARDS the temple.
When Alok Nath was born doctor said, “Badhaai Hon, Babuji Huye Hey”.
When Alok Nath was born, Doctor gave him to his father and said, “Mubarak Hon, Betiyon Ka Baap Huwa Hai”.
When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”.